Dad and I spend most of the drive home grumbling at the radio for playing more commercials than songs. There’s a grocery store advertising “Fresh Fish Friday” and an automotive repair chain with an absurdly catchy jingle.
Dad grimaces. “Do these people know
what they’re doing to me? I’m going to spend my next shift humming ‘tune it up up up today’ at every druggie
we book.”
“You’re going to need mental health
leave from work. You should definitely sue them.” I say encouragingly.
“Dear jingle writers,” Dad says. “I
have seen men bleed to death in the streets, but thanks to you, I am no longer
in possession of my own mind.”
We laugh easily, everything way
more natural than the so-called “bonding” we did at Fisherman’s Wharf. We’ve
made fun of radio commercials my whole life. Our words feel rehearsed, not that
it’s a bad thing. Lately I’ve found myself wishing that life ran on an actual
script; that it didn’t require so much improv. Maybe then I wouldn’t spend so
much time wondering what we’re supposed to do without Mom.
Speaking of improv, when we arrive
home, Peter is standing in front of the garage, very much in the way. Dad
doesn’t even bother taking the keys from the ignition. Instead, he chuckles
under his breath. “Well, what’s Petey dreamed up this time?”
Technically we both lied to Dad
about having a meeting, but until now, I hadn’t given what that meant a lot of
thought. Not so with Peter. My little brother waits for us with a tremendous
scowl on his face and a backpack the size of France. I got more than my fair
share of Dad’s “sporty” genes, but Peter practically went out of his way to
avoid them. He’s short and soft bodied, his hands tuned better to the rhythms
of paint brushes and video game controllers than a softball. The backpack looks
ready to eat him alive.
“Are we going on a Film Club
camping trip?” I climb out of the car, almost expecting to see a collection of
his little Film Club friends carrying sleeping bags, but he can’t have
organized that, can he? Or is this one of those
doubt-not-the-force-of-the-Peter moments? What my little brother lacks in
athleticism he eclipses with sheer tenacity.
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Peter
straightens his neck in an attempt to come eye-to-eye with me. He’s milking
this act for all he’s worth, the little stinker. “We’re decorating the parade
float, remember?”
“Ohhhhh…”
Dad laughs at my feeble attempt to
hide my disappointment. Really, it’s my own fault. I asked for Peter’s help and
my options are to either look like a rotten liar or go along with whatever
scheme he’s dreamed up this time.
“The keys are in the car. Where are
you headed?” Dad asks.
“The Yoshidas,” says Peter, lugging
his bag into the backseat. “I think they’re gonna feed us dinner.”
“Sounds great. Keep your cell
phones on, okay kids?”
“Yup,” I say, not bothering to
resist. The Yoshidas. Plural. Of course.
It’s not a long drive, but even I
don’t want to carry Peter’s trail pack the kilometer or so it takes to get to
the Yoshida household. Both our families live in the same non-descript suburban
neighborhood near Belmont High, all modest, single family homes that haven’t
been updated since the Eighties. I turn the radio off, my fingers tapping
against the steering wheel to the rhythm of music that’s no longer playing.
Peter tilts his seat back and
stares at the car’s felted interior, hands laced together over his tummy. “So,”
he says.
“So.” I feel my lip curl in a
smile.
“Can you park somewhere? Just for a
few minutes?” he asks.
“Oh, are we not going to the
Yoshida’s after all?” I keep my tone teasing, because it really will hurt Peter
if he picks up on how much that would please me.
“No, you’re not getting out of our
meeting.” He smirks. “I just wanted to ask… what made you leave? Did Dad say
something or…?”
I pull into a stranger’s driveway.
If someone asks what we’re doing here, I’ll tell them I stopped to admire the
rose bushes. I don’t respond quickly. Of all people, Peter is the one I’m most
determined to be strong for. Dad’s about as emotionally available as a blender
these days and Casey’s worse. The reason I’m getting through this at all is
because Peter needs me.
“No,” I say finally. “It just got
to be too much.”
“It’s Fish n’ Chips, Wren,” says
Peter, picking up the empty cardboard container left over from my fries.
“Yeah? Then why didn’t you want to
come, too? Hmm? No one has that much homework in ninth grade.” I put the car back
into gear. I’m ready for this discussion to be over, enough so that the
Yoshidas are sounding like good company.
“I dunno, I thought…” Peter tugs
absentmindedly on his seatbelt. “Maybe he’d say something to you? Something he
wouldn’t say to me.”
“He hasn’t.”
“But you’d tell me? If he ever…?”
“Peter, you know I would.” I give
him the fiercest big sister look I can; the kind that’s meant to inspire confidence
when his dreams are filled with nightmares about Mom. “You’re my partner in
this, one hundred percent. I’m sure Dad knows that. It’s probably why he hasn’t
told me anything.”
Peter nods, still not meeting my
gaze. We drive the rest of the way in
silence, because we don’t need to speak in order to know we’re mulling over the
same things. I wish I could be that child Dad wanted to confide in, but since
I’ve got ulterior motives, it’s probably no surprise I’m not.
Both Peter and I agree Dad doesn’t
tell us everything about the investigation. He’s a police officer, so he must
hear chatter from the guys working on Mom’s missing person’s case. He’s not
supposed to, but you can’t convince me it doesn’t happen. And even if he
weren’t a cop, the police must be asking him tougher questions than the rest of
us. In a disappearance like Mom’s, the husband is always the prime suspect.
The last time I saw Mom it was
Wednesday night, April 23rd. You can’t forget the details once you’ve
had to restate them to the police a hundred times. By the time my alarm woke me
up at 7:30 am, April 24th, she was gone. Weirdly enough, I left for
school more worried about Dad than her. What if something happened on his beat
and he was in a hospital somewhere, Mom gripping his hand at his bedside? I was
being stupid for worrying, but your mind can play games with you when your
parents don’t turn up where they should be.
Then I got a text from him at lunch
hour. “Where’s your mother?” Where indeed.
Disappearances are the worst way to
lose someone. The tragedy hits you nice and slow. You can feel yourself
swallowing it, like a dry pill. I spent the first day in denial. She wasn’t
picking up her phone, but maybe it was for a fun reason. Maybe we were on a new
reality TV show and our reactions were being filmed right now. We’d win a
million dollars if I didn’t panic. I only fell asleep that night because I
talked myself into believing things were okay. She’d show up tomorrow, with
some crazy story and her excuses would be so funny, none of us would be mad she
vanished.
But you can't hold on to dumb
fantasies like that forever. Soon we were filing a missing person’s report and
her picture was on CHEK news, asking people to phone in if they sighted her. I
dragged my mattress into Peter’s room and held his hand at night, because I
couldn’t stand the sound of him crying through the wall.
I only cried once. The first time
the police interviewed me, I held it together right until they said, “thank
you, sweetie. You’ve been so helpful.” And it was such a lie, I couldn’t take
it. I sobbed for an hour. My face looked like a fried tomato, but I couldn’t stop.
I hadn’t helped anyone. I couldn’t help anyone. What can you do when your mother
slips away without a trace? They tore our house apart looking for evidence, but
there was no sign of foul play. No sign of anything other than an empty family.
I’ve got one lead – one hunch I can’t
let go of, that maybe can help my mom. But it’s something I can’t tell the
police. They’ll take it the wrong way. But I know my father’s hiding something.
Otherwise, he wouldn’t be so resigned to what happened. He actually uses a
different word than the rest of us when he talks about Mom. She didn’t disappear,
she left. Left. You have no idea how
much that word riles me up.
I turn into the Yoshidas’ driveway,
still morose, and not paying enough attention to my dippy younger brother. Against
my wishes, Peter leans across my lap and honks the horn, a fresh grin on his
face as I shove him away. I swear, if slamming the horn every time we come to
the Yoshidas’ didn’t make him absurdly happy, I would have so many words for
him. At our overblown entrance, the front door opens and Tori Yoshida bounds
out, dark black hair tumbling like an ocean wave behind her.
“Petey Petey Petey!” she shouts,
greeting him halfway to the car. “Best idea! I’ve got, like, ten pounds of
glitter glue we can use. Ten pounds of glitter!”
“That definitely won’t be enough,”
says Peter.
“I called Johnathan and Kimmy.
They’re gonna come over in an hour. David has a track meet, so he’s out, but
he was super bummed. I promised we’d make him an awesome costume. I was so
scared we weren’t gonna do this! I mean, you know, because of stuff.” Tori looks at us meaningfully,
which could be a really uncomfortable moment if she stopped talking for longer
than five seconds. The reason we’re so late finishing the float is because Mom
wanted to help us. Peter insisted she’d come back on time.
“But here we are!” Tori throws her
arms wide. “Floating! Floating to the staaaaaars!” She spins in a circle
laughing and Peter immediately copies her. I don’t know how middle school
didn’t manage to beat the enthusiasm out of her, but she is the most adorable,
hyper-active fourteen-year-old I’ve ever known. You can’t help liking Tori,
even if her attack-hugs get annoying on occasion. If she were the only Yoshida,
this would be a great place.
But the ongoing commotion draws out
Yoshida #2. Hosei frowns at our whirling younger siblings, looking about a
thousand times too serious for the “I Want To Believe” X Files shirt he’s wearing. The May weather has prompted him to
don a pair of too-short shorts, which you can tell he hasn’t replaced since
last summer. Hosei grew about a foot this year and he still looks incredibly
uncomfortable in his brand new stork legs.
“Are we gonna work on this thing,
or what?” he asks, fists stuffed inside his pockets.
“Hosei’s excited too!” says Tori,
completely sincere, and for all I know, she’s right. I have literally never
seen her brother look anything besides perturbed, but he must have a larger
emotional range underneath the scowling.
“Hi, Hosei. What are you planning
on putting on the float?” I ask, but I only get a nod back. Friendship attempt
number five thousand sixty-seven… rejected. He shuffles inside the house,
leaving the door ajar so that we know to follow him in. Behind me, Peter and
Tori hoist the hiking pack from the backseat, already making plans for the junk
inside.
When Tori and Peter decided to
start the Belmont High School Film Club, they needed backing from two
upperclassmen in order to get approval. And the one thing Hosei and I have in
common is that we’re both suckers for our younger siblings. He shows up for
every club function, but he isn’t what you would describe as engaged. He puts on
his headphones through most of our post-movie discussions and fell asleep
during Jurassic Park last month,
which, frankly, felt a bit personal since it was my turn to pick the movie.
He probably wouldn’t annoy me so much
if I didn’t feel like it was my job to include him. I can sometimes convince my
friends to attend our meetings, if we happen to watch a movie they’re
interested in, but Hosei never brings anyone. Truthfully, he hasn’t got anyone to bring. He’s a total loner at school
and I know some of the guys tease him. I make my friends lay off him, but…
well, it’s not hard to guess why it happens. He’s a weirdo. Last year in
Planning 10 we had to present a project on what careers interested us and he
legitimately got up there and said he wanted to track Big Foot one day.
Everyone but me laughed. I’ve seen his bedroom.
What I’m saying is he doesn’t have
options, so you would think he would like me. You would think.
Inside, he’s got a stack of books
on the paranormal opened on the coffee table. They’ve got titles that belong on
romance novels like A Dance For The Devil
And You and Messages From Beyond The
Beyond. I’d tell him to get a hobby, but clearly, that’s where the problem
started.
Mr. Yoshida doesn’t appear to be
home, but he’s got a touch of his son’s obsessive nature. He’s an avid birder
and his house is covered with photos he’s taken at parks around the city.
Between the picture frames, I think the walls are beige, but who can be sure? During
one Film Club meeting, he cornered me and went into lengthy detail about each
one.
To
your left, you can see the yellow crested nightwarbler and above the mantle are
a pair of blue feathered tit tweeters.
So fine, I made those up.
But he’s a nice man and likes to
order us pizza, so I shouldn’t complain about being here. Most of the prints in
isolation are quite beautiful. My favorite is a large crane he photographed on
a trip home to Japan. You’d almost think the photo was an ink drawing, the
lines are so stark, but above the crane’s eye is a blood red mark. She hangs in
the bathroom across from the toilet because, as Mr. Yoshida says, “isn’t that
where we all like to stop and have a think?”
Tori pushes aside the living room
furniture, spilling Hosei’s ghost books and unseating a letter opener shaped
like a duck. “Hosei! Get the tarp out of the garage.”
“Did Dad say we could use it?” he
asks, but heads for the door.
“You think he wants glitter glue on
the rug?” Tori fires back.
“Shouldn’t we be doing this
outside?” I ask.
“Can’t. Rain in the forecast.”
Peter rubs his hands together, breathing deeply. “Okay… so guys, this has to be
good.”
I bite my lip. “Peter…”
“Amazing, even! I’ve got a whole
plan.” He slaps his hand on top of the hiking pack. Tori responds to this like
she’s taking orders from a general and starts unloading rolls of construction
paper and coat hangers from inside. “We’re going to make it look like Hollywood
stars. The Walk of Fame. And then all of us are going to dress up like Golden
Era icons.”
“It sounds amazing, Pete, but we
should be realistic,” I say. “The parade is on Monday.”
“Nope. No way. We’re going to prove
to them we can do this.”
“Prove it to who?” Hosei asks,
arriving back with a tarp rolled under his arm.
Peter flushes self-consciously, and
I almost want to kick Hosei for embarrassing my little brother, but Tori saves
face for everyone. She throws all four limbs into the air and crows. “To the
world!”
Ladies and Gents, welcome to Film
Club.
***
TODAY'S POLL...
Clearly, a lot is on the line when it comes to decorating this float. But how does it turn out for everyone? Do things go...
a) Better than hoped, but they are cruelly interrupted by a mysterious, massive power outage.
b) Worse than feared, but they are mercifully interrupted by a strange, frantic call from Wren's Dad.
***
TODAY'S POLL...
Clearly, a lot is on the line when it comes to decorating this float. But how does it turn out for everyone? Do things go...
a) Better than hoped, but they are cruelly interrupted by a mysterious, massive power outage.
b) Worse than feared, but they are mercifully interrupted by a strange, frantic call from Wren's Dad.
*** The poll should be in the upper, right hand corner of the page. If you are having trouble viewing it on your cell phone, click the "View Web Version" link at the bottom of the page and the poll should then be in the right place. Happy voting! ***